I'm not even going to discuss the broad gap since my latest post, I'm just going to say, "I'm back." Oops..I may have just discussed it!
One of my favorite stories to read to Adrian before he goes to bed at night is "Goodnight Moon." What a classic! Margaret Wise Brown (the author) is a genius! Here's a story that captures the sporadically wandering mind of a toddler in such a playful way that it deceivingly coaxes the reader into a mind-numbing state of being. Every time I read it, it doesn't matter what time of day it is, I am convinced that I have said my goodnight to the world and it is time to sleep. The story describes the prominent features of the "great green room," as the "quiet old lady is whispering 'hush.'" Then the narrator begins bidding goodnight to the kittens and mittens and clocks and socks until there is almost no one left to say goodnight to. My second favorite line is when the narrator seems to have run out of goodnights but adds, "Goodnight nobody." I love that! It so captures the mind of a tired child.
Well I was just about to read this particular line of the story - I hadn't yet turned the page - and Adrian exclaims, "nobody." My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe my ears. I stuttered, "Adrian, did you say, "nobody?" "Nobody." he replied. I had never heard him say that word before - not to mention the fact that it seemed to prove that he knew the story by heart. I guess I have read it to him a lot!
Now that I'm thinking about this story that I love so much, I'm wondering what I love about it so much. Is it because the story is so well crafted or because there are so few words to read? Or is it simply because I have read it so many times to Adrian and shared so many snuggling goodnights with my son that the story somehow preserves the memory? It makes me think of the story we share as Christians. As I approach the celebration of Easter I wonder, "What memories are preserved for us when we repeatedly share this story of crucifixion, death and resurrection?" We've heard it so many times, before the page is even turned we are exclaiming, "nobody." We know the story so well, but we love to hear it. We love to tell it. Because the story becomes a part of us - we begin to live it. I know there is more to say about this connection between story, repitition, ritual and community...but I think it's time for me to say my own "goodnight."
One final thing - I only told you my second favorite line of the book. My favorite line of the book is the last one. The narrator has just said goodnight to the stars and the air and concludes, "Goodnight noises everywhere." If that line doesn't prayerfully request a peaceful rest with words, it does so by spirit.
Switching Connections
I feel I need to explain - for the few who read these thoughts - why my posting will be a little more sporadic. Due to my current living arrangements, I no longer have regular access to the internet. In addition, we don't have cable and only receive three television stations. So my internet surfing and cable flipping habits have been replaced by books, DVD's and more play time with Adrian. I'll admit that it hasn't been easy to give up cable - and it is REALLY hard not having internet access - but the disconnection from these media sources has forced me to be more connected to the people and places around me...which...I think...is a good thing.
A Pile of Tiles...Continued
As a follow-up to my last reflection, A pile of tiles... I've noticed recently how Adrian takes notice of the little things in life. Today, as he was shoveling chocolate pudding around his face, and eventually into his mouth, he would occasionally have a "dollop" of pudding fall from his spoon. At this point he would stop everything and look for the missing "dollop" - oblivious to the massive pile of pudding on his spoon that he was flinging every which way. All he was concerned about was finding the missing dollop. So I would help him find what he was looking for so he could continue eating. Adrian seems incredibly attentive to the overlooked things of this world.
Consider how Adrian cleans the floor...yes, I have Adrian clean the floor...at least whenever he has thrown his food from his plate. There will be crackers and big chunks of bread and Adrian will find the smallest particle of dust lying on the floor pick it up and exclaim, "turtle!" which means, "Dirty!" Or, if you watch Adrian play, you will notice how he can be immersed in a toy for a couple of minutes and then he will stand up and run to the other side of the room - tiptoeing his way through the debris of toys cluttering the floor and he will find the smallest, most overlooked object in the room and lift it up as his discovered treasure.
Yes, Adrian is incredibly attentive to the overlooked things of this world. Which makes me think of the stories in the Bible about how God is like the shepherd that leaves the 99 sheep to look for the one - kinda like flinging a pile of pudding on your spoon to find the missing dollop. You may think its careless to fling pudding around like that, but it sure seems beautiful to know that God searches for the overlooked ones like that.
Consider how Adrian cleans the floor...yes, I have Adrian clean the floor...at least whenever he has thrown his food from his plate. There will be crackers and big chunks of bread and Adrian will find the smallest particle of dust lying on the floor pick it up and exclaim, "turtle!" which means, "Dirty!" Or, if you watch Adrian play, you will notice how he can be immersed in a toy for a couple of minutes and then he will stand up and run to the other side of the room - tiptoeing his way through the debris of toys cluttering the floor and he will find the smallest, most overlooked object in the room and lift it up as his discovered treasure.
Yes, Adrian is incredibly attentive to the overlooked things of this world. Which makes me think of the stories in the Bible about how God is like the shepherd that leaves the 99 sheep to look for the one - kinda like flinging a pile of pudding on your spoon to find the missing dollop. You may think its careless to fling pudding around like that, but it sure seems beautiful to know that God searches for the overlooked ones like that.
A Pile of Tiles
Last night my wife and I played a game together called Rumikub. If you are not familiar with it, the game consists of a bunch of numbered tiles that you match up in ordered sets. Well, this morning, Adrian noticed the game and asked me to open it up for him. I knew he would enjoy playing with all of the tiles and setting them up on the racks like the picture on the box indicated, so I opened the box for him.
He played with the tiles for more than 15 minutes - which, for an 18-month's-attention-span, is pretty good. Eventually, he discovered the two tiles that were labeled as jokers/wilds. They had little faces painted on them instead of numbers. Out of all of the tiles, Adrian had settled on two that he wanted to play with. He put them on the racks and carried them around the house on little plastic plates. He knew that these tiles were more special than all of the others - and he treated them as such.
Lately, I've been questioning if God cares about individuals or if he is more interested in his creation as a whole. In other words, does God see his creation as billions of special creations or does he see it as a single creation? I've been questioning if God sees me as a Joker amongst a pile of numbered tiles or if all he sees is a pile of tiles - because, I feel more like one of the numbered tiles, one among many. I'm not sure if I would be the one to stand out as something special/unique. Does God really care about the particularities of our lives?
It seems in stirring up a bunch of tiles, Adrian has stirred up a bunch of thoughts in my mind.
He played with the tiles for more than 15 minutes - which, for an 18-month's-attention-span, is pretty good. Eventually, he discovered the two tiles that were labeled as jokers/wilds. They had little faces painted on them instead of numbers. Out of all of the tiles, Adrian had settled on two that he wanted to play with. He put them on the racks and carried them around the house on little plastic plates. He knew that these tiles were more special than all of the others - and he treated them as such.
Lately, I've been questioning if God cares about individuals or if he is more interested in his creation as a whole. In other words, does God see his creation as billions of special creations or does he see it as a single creation? I've been questioning if God sees me as a Joker amongst a pile of numbered tiles or if all he sees is a pile of tiles - because, I feel more like one of the numbered tiles, one among many. I'm not sure if I would be the one to stand out as something special/unique. Does God really care about the particularities of our lives?
It seems in stirring up a bunch of tiles, Adrian has stirred up a bunch of thoughts in my mind.
Enthusiastic Life
The teaching that was given at church this morning spoke to me in a powerful way. The scripture meditation was taken from Revelation 3:14-22. It is the letter written to the Laodiceans - the church that is neither hot nor cold, but is the lukewarm spiritually charged people who will be spit out of the mouth of God. The message presented today was that American spirituality as a whole is lukewarm. American Christianity is an apathetic spirituality that may not be blasphemous, but neither is it the empowered joyous life of the Spirit that identifies all that is of God. (Perhaps this is not what the teacher said - but what I heard.)
What I heard was that we are called to live enthusiastic lives as Christians. Enthusiasm is what the early Christians described as the feeling that follows a person who comes to faith. (see the wikipedia definition) Literally, enthusiasm is being "in God." It is this place of being in God that we find joy. Enthusiastic people are Christians who are on fire (really hot) for God.
I sense that I have been trying to attain a lukewarm lifestyle. This can be applied in my spiritual life and within my personal life of being a husband and father. Whenever the opportunity of living in God, of being an enthusiastic/passionate person, has been presented, I've denied it in fear of failure.
Today, I've been reminded that God is not someone who is moderately controlled and safe. God loves extravagantly. God's wrath is like a raging fire. His mercy is as wide as the ocean. He is a God who is aggressive and unashamed - and therefore he is a beautiful, passionate, good God.
Today, I've been reminded that God wants the same kind of life for us. To be husbands who love extravagantly and fathers who extend wide mercy.
What I heard was that we are called to live enthusiastic lives as Christians. Enthusiasm is what the early Christians described as the feeling that follows a person who comes to faith. (see the wikipedia definition) Literally, enthusiasm is being "in God." It is this place of being in God that we find joy. Enthusiastic people are Christians who are on fire (really hot) for God.
I sense that I have been trying to attain a lukewarm lifestyle. This can be applied in my spiritual life and within my personal life of being a husband and father. Whenever the opportunity of living in God, of being an enthusiastic/passionate person, has been presented, I've denied it in fear of failure.
Today, I've been reminded that God is not someone who is moderately controlled and safe. God loves extravagantly. God's wrath is like a raging fire. His mercy is as wide as the ocean. He is a God who is aggressive and unashamed - and therefore he is a beautiful, passionate, good God.
Today, I've been reminded that God wants the same kind of life for us. To be husbands who love extravagantly and fathers who extend wide mercy.
Saying Bye-bye
Tonight I had so much fun playing a new game that Adrian started. It's basically a version of hide and seek. It starts when he says "Bye-bye." and begins closing the door of his bedroom. Then I hide from him and he comes back in to find me. If he doesn't see me right away, he'll start crying "Da?!" and looking down the hall - as if I magically left the room without him seeing me. Then I will come from behind him and startle him. He inevitably jumps and bursts into laughter. He sometimes runs away from me - just begging me to chase him down the hall. I tackle him and squeeze and tickle him and let him know that I'm not lost. I'm right there with him. Then he turns and looks at me and says, "Bye-bye." The game never ends.
At the same time that I'm celebrating the joy of play with my son, I'm reflecting on the conversation I had today with a woman who is anticipating the death of her father. She has been saying goodbye to her father now for several months as his body continues to grow weaker.
I'm not sure there is much else to say... Except that it's days like this that I find incredible hope in God. Without my faith in God, the pull between joy and sorrow will only lead to despair. But in God, our "bye-byes" will always be welcomed by running down the hall in laughter, falling into an embrace and getting up to do it all over again.
At the same time that I'm celebrating the joy of play with my son, I'm reflecting on the conversation I had today with a woman who is anticipating the death of her father. She has been saying goodbye to her father now for several months as his body continues to grow weaker.
I'm not sure there is much else to say... Except that it's days like this that I find incredible hope in God. Without my faith in God, the pull between joy and sorrow will only lead to despair. But in God, our "bye-byes" will always be welcomed by running down the hall in laughter, falling into an embrace and getting up to do it all over again.
Waking Up To God's Kingdom - Part 2
I feel inspired to write a few thoughts after listening to Rob Bell's message "Beware of the Dogs." (You can listen to this at the Mars Hill website.) At one point in his message he spoke of some psychological terminology - namely: egocentric, ethno- or tribalcentric and worldcentric worldviews. Essentially, they mean that our perspectives are either "me centered," "us centered," or "world inclusive" respectively (at least this is how I understood them). So as children grow up, hopefully, they move through this progression till they arive at a worldcentric perspctive.
The informing and convicting teaching that I just recieved is this: While I am trying to establish for Adrian a solid egocentric base of trust to start his life from, and as I begin to challenge his being to step into a more tribalcentric worldview (namely..."Why can't you throw your yogurt into my face?!! ... Because I said so!"), I am also challenged as a member of Christ's-worldwide-and-centuries-long-body, to move myself out of the comfort of a tribalcentric (or American-suburban-postmodern-Christianity) worldview and into the risky waters of a worldcentric faith. So it seems that both Adrian and I have some waking up to do. I imagine that when we open our eyes we might find there is a whole world around us that we can find beauty in.
The informing and convicting teaching that I just recieved is this: While I am trying to establish for Adrian a solid egocentric base of trust to start his life from, and as I begin to challenge his being to step into a more tribalcentric worldview (namely..."Why can't you throw your yogurt into my face?!! ... Because I said so!"), I am also challenged as a member of Christ's-worldwide-and-centuries-long-body, to move myself out of the comfort of a tribalcentric (or American-suburban-postmodern-Christianity) worldview and into the risky waters of a worldcentric faith. So it seems that both Adrian and I have some waking up to do. I imagine that when we open our eyes we might find there is a whole world around us that we can find beauty in.
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